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Proviso Probe

Friday, September 22, 2006

EVENTS, what's happening this weekend...

that Proviso Probe readers should know about?


  • AP -

    Self-described "activist journalist" Carl Nyberg will burn himself to death to protest Proviso corruption at noon Saturday, September 23, 2006. Mr. Nyberg announced that he has chosen the Madison Street Desplaines River Bridge as the location for his protest.

    "All residents of Proviso Township should follow my lead to protest the rampant corruption in Proviso Township," Mr. Nyberg announced in a press release.

    Mr. Nyberg did not indicate whether Maywood, Forest Park, or River Forest public works employees will be responsible for removing the debris following his self-immolation.

    When asked to comment on this matter, Proviso High School District 209 Board President stated, "I've already bought a bag of marshmallows."

    By Anonymous Associated Press, at 1:50 PM, September 22, 2006  

  • Can we get CUinFP to come out and video tape this event after all they are the self-described and self proclaimed citizens watch dog group.

    Heck we could sell the videos for a premium.

    By Anonymous Paparazzi, at 5:17 PM, September 22, 2006  

  • Welch don't hate on Carl because he has the guts to call your punk ass out. The truth hurts, doesn't Chrissy?

    Welch you have already begun your self-destruction process. Isn't your hair falling out? Heard your skin has been peeling? What about your cracked finger nails? You are looking real nervous at board meetings.

    By Blogger welch_is_an_ass, at 6:47 PM, September 22, 2006  

  • People, please leave welch alone. He is slowing self-destructing. The rope is starting to suffocate his big bald ass. This guy is obsessed with Proviso Township. Go back to chasing ambulances Welch. Stop giving your cronies promotions. Oh I forgot, this is how you support your campaign with under the table contributions. Are you jealous of Carl? He can sleep peacefully at night. We know you don't sleep. Who's your next target? That mortgage is due on your $500,000 house.

    Stop stealing from our kids. Stop stealing from our community. It's not too late to loosen that rope around your neck. Resign as President before we pull the chair from underneath you in April.

    By Anonymous Enough rope to hang himself, at 8:07 PM, September 22, 2006  

  • ap

    Flash news report,

    citing the terible weather today Carl Nyberg called off his desire to jump off the bridge at Madison Street and the Desplaines River.

    He promised to hold a blog conference in the next couple of day to further describe his deep passion to confuse the public with his uncanny rhetoric.

    Stay tuned for further updates.

    By Anonymous associated press, at 5:43 PM, September 23, 2006  

  • Due to the weather report today, Welch was unable to attend his most important appointments.

    Weight watchers

    Hair club for men (He's the President)

    Counseling for obsessive behavior

    Save your money Welch, none of these things are working.

    Push away from the table big boy. Shave your head bald. Your hairline starts at the middle of your head.

    Don't stop the counseling, you need all the help you can get.

    By Anonymous welch is a liar, at 8:58 PM, September 23, 2006  

  • The last comment from Welch is a Liar is REALLY FUNNY! Great sense of humor you have! Kudos!

    By Blogger welch_is_an_ass, at 10:18 PM, September 23, 2006  

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